Thursday, September 11, 2008

Penis Razor?!

A few people missed out on this post, so I thought I would edit it and republish it, since it was one of my favorites.

Sometimes I find out things about people on my route that I would rather not know.

Example #1:
One day I met this lady's son who is in the navy and was getting ready to leave for Afghanistan. He seemed like a very nice person. A few weeks later she gave me a package to mail that was obviously going to him, and it had the necessary customs form attached. As I was waiting in line to buy stamps I was looking at the package and noticed the customs form. It said it included the following: Hemorrhoid cream, hemorrhoid cushion, one playgirl subscription form, condoms, and a few other miscellaneous things. I was pretty sure it was a joke, and we all had a really good laugh about it. I never asked.

Example #2:
There's this catalog that a few people get. It's called Under Gear, ever heard of it? I hadn't either until recently. It's basically a male version of Victoria's Secret. The problem with the catalog is that they have pictures like this on their back cover:

You can also check out their website for more interesting pictures, we've all had a pretty good laugh at some of them. Anyway, sometimes when you know the person who's on the receiving end of the catalog, it kind of makes you wonder.

And there's this guy, who's married, that gets it. W.E.I.R.D. (okay, maybe it's for his wife's enjoyment, but somehow I don't think so....)

(not that there's anything wrong with the catalog, it just invokes a little silliness from us)

Example #3:
There is this other guy at work that also lives on my route. He is a frequent eBay shopper. Always getting packages, baseball cards, movies, computer memory, normal stuff. First, I have to say that lately, I've been having some problems with my ears, they are a little plugged and everything sounds a little muffled.
So anyway this guy wanders up the other day and starts telling me about how he's waiting on another package. He always tells me what he ordered, sometimes he shows me when he opens it, like the baseball cards.
This time I thought he said he ordered some "penis razors".
What's a penis razor?! Did I hear that right?
You really have to know this guy, it's almost the kind of thing he would say.
I guess when I didn't say anything right away, he must have wondered what I was thinking, because he's like, "I know they're women's razors, but I really like them and they're so much cheaper than Wal-Mart."
So then I'd had a minute to think about it and I realized he said VENUS RAZORS.
Now that I can handle.


  1. HA!!!! This was an awesome post!!! Promise to do more "crazy things people get in the mail" for us??!!!!

  2. You just made me want to be a mail carrier...just for the laughs!
    I'm with McMommy- you must share more!

  3. Hilarious!! My imagination was out of control trying to figure out what a penis razor might actually be.

  4. I knew with a title like "penis razor" would have to be funny. You did not dissapoint.
    Please share more of your delivery stories...hilarious!

  5. now I'm nervous about what my mail carrier might be thinking of me....

    hilarious post!

  6. That is hilarious! Thanks for the laughs!

  7. I love haring "inside" stories like these! So funny.

  8. OMG penis razor - I'm totally laughing. I have poor hearing so I'm always hearing crazy things like that . . . but haven't heard penis razor yet :-)

  9. sooo funny!!

    i agree - we must hear more stories like this one :)

    happy pow!

  10. That is so stinkin' funny! I volunteer at a hospital, so there are hillarious things that happen there every week that I so wish I could write. But, I do want to get fired.

    I'm still laughing...

  11. I was a mail carrier for a summer (casual carrier) and it definitely made for some colorful stories. Especially since I delivered a lot of mail to college students (apartments flooded with college kids) and one guy once yelled, "Come in!" when I was delivering a package, and I walked in and he was in the shower...needless to say I dropped the package on the floor and bolted! HA!

  12. I have just decided that you have the Best Job Ever. And that's definitely the Best Post Title ever. You're just the Best Ever today!

  13. i love the idea of what you can tell about people from their mail. I often wonder what our mail man thinks of us ~ Great post!

  14. I was hoping you would choose this one for POW!

  15. That's HILARIOUS! It would almost make me a bit frightened of the people on my route, if I were a mail carrier. *lol*

    Awesome post....found you through McMommy/POW! Looking forward to reading more.

  16. How can you not click on a link that says Penis Razor? Thanks for the laugh!

  17. lmao that was funny! Thanks for re-posting this!

  18. Reading this AGAIN and it's just as funny this time around.

    Beej is right, you do have the best job around! Makes me wonder what my mail carrier thinks of some of the things we get.