Saturday, September 6, 2008

Dear Customer...

Dear Mail Lady, (an actual letter I got on Tuesday this week)
I am trying to be understanding about this and up front with you. I pay for the Enquirer and expect it each week. I work the crossword it is one of the best. I see it at the store for nearly a week before I get it. I started it years ago and always received it on Monday or Tuesday. I left on a trip and had not received 3 of them by Friday. When I returned 2 of them were in the mail. They have dates on them. I have yet to receive 8/11 and 8/18. I have called the 800 number of the Post Office and the Enquirer and will go down to the post office if you can't get it right. I'm sure it's not your fault, but it's your route, and this is not the first time it's happened.

P.S. If someone wants to read it, why I can't imagine, I'll put it back in the box each week, I don't mind sharing. I should be receiving it a week before the date on it.

Dear Customer,
I'm really sorry you're not getting your Enquirer on time. I go in to the office in the morning and sort all of the mail they give me. If I don't get it there is no way I can deliver it to you. We do not have a place to hold on to random mail. I do not take breaks, and if I wanted to read the Enquirer believe me I would be smart enough to rotate between customers could afford my own subscription. I never knew the crossword was the best, I thought people just said that so they didn't look like gossipers, heck, I don't even do crosswords because I'm too busy reading my other customer's OK and People I have around 500 customers to get mail to in just 5 hours a day. I don't know what else to tell you other than, I think you're mad at me for not putting stamps on your 12 letters every time you order a book of stamps, I deliver your mail the same day I get it. I hope you will understand this. I know some people (not you at all) think there is some kind of conspiracy out there, but the truth of the matter is that we just don't have time to even pay attention to what you get in the mail in a given day. I see more celebrity gossip magazines than I can even count, and since they all have exactly the same pictures and the same headlines on the cover it's hard to keep track sometimes. I personally couldn't care less who looks bad in a bathing suit, or whether the next big celebrity couple is breaking up next week. I hope your magazine starts coming on time.

your busy mail lady


  1. lol! I can't believe she took the time to actually write you a letter!! Who does that?! If I wasn't getting my magazine, the last person I would blame would be the mail lady ! What is she thinking! And all over a crossword puzzle... rediculous!

  2. That is hilarious!
    People are seriously demented. I love that the reason she felt the need to write a letter is because her freaking Enquirer is late!
    Oh sweetie, if only that were really your biggest problem.
    I have to go to bed now because I must be delirious from lack of sleep...I mean, that's the only real explanation right? I can't possibly have just read that some crazy lady in Arizona is wasting the time of government employees because her fake gossip magazine isn't getting to her house before it hits the news stands. Right?

  3. Your job really never ceases to be amusing. Crazy lady.

  4. I HOPE you sent that to her! My husband works the windows and tells me stories like this all the time. Like people actually THINK that they go through their personal mail! Geeez! Too funny!

  5. LOL! Your customers are crazy!

  6. I think you have the most entertaining job out there.
    I hope she starts getting her Enquirer on time.
    Inquiring minds wanna know.

  7. "if you can't get it right!" What the heck is that.

    Wow, she's got too much time on her hands...maybe she hasn't paid her subscription. How awful and accusatory. I would never blame my mail carrier.

    Keep the crazy customer stories coming. It makes me feel like I just might not be crazy!