Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Gift Theivery...

I mentioned this a couple of times lately, so I thought I should probably get to it. The unfortunate thing is that I'm having a bit of trouble with the exact terminology to use. I don't want to offend anyone, but I also don't really know the best and most politically correct way to describe a person such as the one in my story. So, let's make a deal. I'll refer to her in whichever way I decide, and no one will be offended because I'm talking about one specific person, OK?
Disclaimer: I had no direct contact with the subject, so most, if not all, of this is just third-party information, except for the stretcher incident I witnessed firsthand.

I have to go back a few years for this one. They hired this girl as a sub, and coincidentally she was subbing for Seth's aunt. She had this look about her. A look that made you think that she wasn't playing with a full deck. I think she was probably missing about 25% of the deck, maybe a little more. I heard from more than one person that when they'd talk to her she would look at you and just stare (sometimes there may even have been a little drool).

Needless to say she wasn't one of the better subs they had hired, but in the usual way of the post office, they had let her get past her 90 days, I think. Seth's aunt had a fair share of customer complaints about mis-deliveries, mixed with more than a couple of complaints that they had ordered stamps but never received them. Most of the time when a stamp order comes up missing it's because either a.) the customer put their check in a white envelope, in the box with a bunch of other white envelopes to mail and the carrier didn't see the envelope, and/or b.)they missed pulling out the envelope and it went on down to get filled at the main post office and would come back later. Not the case with these. Eventually they would find out that she was taking the checks out of the envelopes and taking them into other post offices to buy stamps with them, and then selling the stamps for cash.

Then there was the time she "fell" while casing her route up. Suspiciously no one heard her hit her head on the counter, which she said she did on the way down. Believe me, she was a hefty girl, so there would be sound effects. They wound up calling 911 for her, and they took her away, neck brace and all, on a stretcher. It was pretty comical really.

The funniest thing of all had to be the time she stole a package, Hillshire farms or something similar, with the summer sausage, cheese, and other stuff. She actually opened it up, took stuff out, and then wrapped the box up and gave it to one or more of the supervisors as Christmas gifts. Sucking up...OK, but sucking up with stolen goods...not so much.

She, of course, got caught as most people do who are thieves. Now she's just one of the many people who's been fired from the post office over a lousy few bucks.

Disclaimer #2: The vast majority of the people who work for the post office are hard working, honest individuals. It's unfortunate that there are people who get hired, hate the job, become really crappy employees, and (sometimes) wind up with union protection that they don't really deserve. Those are the people who give the post office a bad name, and it's sad that more people (customers) don't share their good experiences instead of their bad ones, but that's the way of the world. Most of the stories I share come from a "stupid criminal" sort of standpoint, because I just can't believe the things that people do. It is not my intention in any way to make the post office look bad.


  1. honey that's crazy!!

    i seriously love your wild and crazy mail stories :)

  2. That is some good stuff. And, while I'm sure there are plenty of good people out there, it's much funnier to hear the crazy stuff that happens. I never understand how people get soooo bold.

  3. Lol! I love your stories!

    I am always laughing. And I love how you say she was missing 25% of her deck. Or the drool coming out of the mouth!


  4. I was hoping you'd tell us the story behind that one! Classic.