Tuesday, August 5, 2008

The other DUI

I've started noticing a trend lately.
People laugh about it.
I thought I was the only one to see someone do it.
Until I heard someone talking about it at work.
It's name is catchy.
It sounds funny when you say it.
It may even be funny if you're the one doing it.
Lucky for you, you won't remember in the morning.

Your victim will certainly remember, if they were sober.
They may even change their opinion of you.
They may have found out more about you than they really wanted.
They may have had a spouse sitting right next to them when it happened.

It happened to me once.
I was minding my own business when it happened.
My phone rang.
The voice on the other end was a friend coworker.
I was actually a little flattered.
To think, someone out there besides my husband thought I was easy worthy of their attention.
It was a bet.
Apparently, I'm worth $10,000.
I am, really.
I was invited out.
I respectfully reminded this "friend" that I'm married, and no, I'm not that kind of person.

A few minutes later another coworker called to fill me in.
The original caller was a little bit very drunk.

He had won some money in a poker game.

He must not be that good of a gambler.

He gambled on being able to sleep with me.

I guess he was so drunk he forgot about my husband.

And my morals.

I've heard, and seen more stories lately of people Drunk Dialing.

It's not pretty my friends.

I believe we could attribute the rise in popularity to the increase of cell phone use...after all, they don't even have to remember phone numbers anymore. (Why the hell not? Cell phones are to blame for everything else that's wrong with the world today...I'm just saying...)

I think we should start a movement.

Sort of goes along with having a Designated Driver.

the Rules:

If you've had more than 3 drinks, hand over your phone to the designated dialer.

If you don't have one (a DD), just put your phone in the car, with the keys and lock the doors.

Make sure you have a ride home first though.

And a spare set of keys (or roadside assistance).

If you're a friend who's not drinking (or not drunk yet) and you see someone who's about to drunk dial, please, please, please, stop them.

You could save them from a ton of embarassment.

You could also save the person who they're dialing from a rude awakening if it's late.

This goes for texting while drunk too.

This concludes my Public Service Announcement.

I'll leave you with a picture:

(don't you think this would be a good Make a Difference Monday post, over at Daily Mish Mash?)


  1. Hilarious! I love this! And yes, this would be perfect for MADM. Not really what I had in mind originally but people need to read this.

    I agree that cell phones are responsible for all world's problems.

  2. A coworker did that? Yikes...that is embarrassing! Especially given the fact that he also works with your husband.
    Drunk dialing indeed!

  3. Love it!! I am in shock that your coworker did this...what was he thinking?!

  4. So funny! Isn't this something we should have good and learned by say the age of 23 or so? You know, after either college or a few years out on your own - once you're in the work world, really, that's just not cool.

  5. Brilliant! I love the picture! Thank you for bringing our attention to this very important cause. I think this designated phone holder is brilliant! I may just have to try that out sometime...
    You are too funny! Thanks for posting this! And I would really hate to be that coworker.. that's embarrassing!

  6. That is hilarious! And, I love the picture, too! Such good advice!

    $10,000? That's a lot of money!

  7. thank you for this public service announcement. MY husbad will be very grateful that you are bringing this to the public as I am a long time offender of drunk dialing. It typically happens when I'm at the sale meeting or a trade show... those are some of my finest moments... NOT. The joke now is every time I leave for one of these events he says... I love you, have fun but...Please don't drunk dial me... I'm getting better...

  8. $10,000 I'd be feeling pretty good about myself. So funny.

    So glad I don't drink or gamble for that matter! Who knows who I'd be calling. Too bad I don't have George Clooney's number.

  9. I guess he better hope that he was drunk enough to have no memory of his DD, otherwise that would be VERY embarrassing!

    $10,000 is alot of money though! ;)

  10. Knowing that you are from Iowa, I know that you had to 'dial drunk' more than once, but I think that was in high school.

    Funny post!

  11. this is HuuuLARious. Seriously, i wish I had been able to write this one LOL!

  12. well, that's going to be akward when he sobers up. LOL. I am the official designated cell phone holder for my drunk friends...and I have stopped many a drunk dial. SIGH.

    I deserve an award. Or at least a free drink.

  13. Fantastic idea!!! I don't get many drunk dials, but my friends don't really drink. But If they thought it'd be a good idea to call me drunk, I'd probably freak out on them!

  14. At least you can laugh about it. Funny post. Happy POW!

  15. Who knew?
    I had no idea!
    Thanks for keeping me in the know!
    Hilarious post Dana!